


Confidence

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Episode Tag, Episode: s03e21 We Killed Yamamoto
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-05-01
Updated: 2003-05-01
Packaged: 2019-05-31 06:25:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15113663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: "I'll be fine.  I always am."





	Confidence

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

**Confidence**  
**by:** Kasey

**Character(s):** Sam  
**Category(s):** POST-EP: We Killed Yamamoto  
**Rating:** TEEN  
**Disclaimer:** don't own 'em, etc.  
**Summary:** "I'll be fine. I always am."  


I feel like I'm walking on eggshells - don't bring anything up to Bruno, don't try and encourage anything around Toby, don't promise anyone anything 'cause God only knows I'll screw it up again, at which point I'll be outta my job and anything I promised to anyone is gone. 

Y'know, you know things are really bad when Toby tries to give you a pep talk, THAT's how you know that all has gone to hell in a handbasket and you're ranking about the same as Josh did after he got cute with Mary Marsh. You know things are bad when everyone's going out of their way to try and cheer you up, including people you haven't talked to since the first campaign. 

I'm fine, I keep telling them. I'm fine, I'm up off the dirt, I'm off the mat, I'm up, I'm good, I'm raring to go... 

Only not really but it's okay 'cause I can smile like I am. 

It was a stupid thing I did, a stupid thing because I'm too damn trusting and naive to know the difference between sincerity of heart and...the other thing, the thing that Kevin was being when he said he wanted us to be sort of the calm links between the campaign. And I should've known that it wasn't gonna happen 'cause since when in an election year do the other guys wanna be your friends, but I fell into the same trap I always fall into which is to trust everyone and listen to no warnings and act like I know what I'm doing when I don't and I'm playing with fire. 

Then I get blamed for burning down the White House when it wasn't just my fault. It was Josh's fault, too, and...I take the blame for things like the Open-Mic gaff when I wasn't even in the room, and I get sent out of rooms 'cause I can't be trusted and everyone can predict what I'm gonna say... 

Jeez, if they sent me out of meetings before, there's no way I'm *ever* gonna be on the inside *now*, I mean...they know I've got a friend working for Richie and that from time to time I'll hand things over accidentally... 

I'll run for President someday, sure, yeah, right, and then I'll lose 'cause I'll trust the other guy and end up leaking something dangerous and that'll be the end of it all. 

And y'know, I'm looking at the future, eight, twelve years down the line...and I gotta say, I can't see myself having this job longer than another eight or twelve days. 

Doesn't matter. 

I'll be fine. I always am. 

Only not really 'cause every time I come a little closer to just saying screw this and going back to hurting the little guy in corporate law. At least then I knew the rules of the game, even if I didn't like them. 

But something tells me I won't ever do that. Something tells me I really will keep my job here, if only 'cause I think Toby and Josh'd fight hard enough for me to stay if push came to shove. 

So I guess I just...keep walking on eggshells for right now, and hope anyone can ever trust me again. 


End file.
